A Side Saunter

Dare I say it? Things are looking up! I don’t expect things to stay this way, because life doesn’t work like that, but I am trying to make the most of my ‘up’ times while they are here. I’m hoping that I can remember (I’m trying to DRILL IT RIGHT IN ME) that the next down spot won’t last forever and I’ll bounce back again just like always. The downs are a part of life and shouldn’t be a thing to be feared. Am I not strong enough to handle whatever life throws at me? I am. I’m living proof.

I’m in week two of a new food strategy, and it’s working. I’ve been feeling weird about food for the last couple of years, as it happens. Up until recently, I would eat pretty much anything. Fussy eater was not in my vocabulary as a child, so much so that I was that weirdo that would eat the skin on the custard with my school dinner. I’d go so far as to actually request it, while all the other kids were getting supremely grossed out. No one had to force me to eat brocolli – it didn’t matter what was on the plate, the plate was getting cleared and that was that.

Slimming World used to work for me, because you can eat big portions. As long as was full up, I didn’t really care much what I was eating. In recent times I’ve been trying to make it work again, to repeat my past successes, then getting frustrated when I fail over and over.

The problem is, I eat and I eat, but because I don’t really want or even like the food that I’m eating, I’m never truly satisfied. I’m not hungry exactly, but I’m always left feeling like I have an itch I can’t scratch. Then before I know it, I’m giving in to my cravings and ending up right back where I started.

My new plan is to stay in a very small calorie defecit. I was reluctant to even think about calories, because it brings back feelings of hunger and sadness from my younger days. I used to restrict so much, I literally couldn’t function like that if I tried to do it now. I used to aim for about 1,300 calories per day, which is ridiculously low. The last two weeks I have been aiming for a MINIMUM of 2,000 calories a day, which means I haven’t been feeling deprived and I’ve been staying on track. What’s more, I’ve been eating food that I actually want to eat. That’s the main difference as to why I’m doing well. Food should be enjoyed, and as long as I’m edging towards my goals (rather than sprinting in the opposite direction, as I have been) then that’s fine by me.

I’ve also been saving myself a whole load of time (less food prep) and a whole load of money, both because I’ve been buying less food and I’ve been using the cooker less. For instance, most days I would have cooked Slimming World chips from scratch. I would microwave the potatoes beforehand to soften them up, then cook them in the oven using Frylight, that destroyer of kitchenware. They would usually be in the oven for at least 40 minutes, whereas now I will chuck a couple of hash browns in the air fryer for ten minutes and that’s that. Job done. Another thing about keeping an eye on calories is that it’s free, so that’s another saving. No more diet club membership fees for me.

Less time thinking about and preparing food means more time for knitting and other creative pursuits. Since my last post I finished a third frog, this time for my little brother. He has come up with the BEST NAME EVER for it – he has named it ‘Hopscotch’. I’m sorry, but there’s no beating that.

I’m improving my knitting with every frog – I still find the legs tricky but I did the body and the jumper without making a single mistake. I can now knock up a frog jumper in a couple of hours, such as this one which I made for my sister yesterday afternoon:

A stripey one takes a bit longer than a plain one, but not terribly so.

The thing I LOVE about knitting, is that I can be creative but it doesn’t take anything out of me. I love painting too, but it takes an emotional toll. Sometimes after I paint I’m exhausted, my brain feels totally emptied out, but I don’t get that when I’m making frogs. This is why I’d go so far as to say I’d never be able to be a fulltime artist -I would burn myself out in about five minutes flat. I like that I have managed to figure that out, too, rather than to keep trying to make something fit that just doesn’t. I feel like a (self-imposed) weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I am going to sell some frogs – I’ve started working on a little stash which I’ll put up for sale at the beginning of November. That will leave plenty of time to get them posted out for Christmas. They would make a great present (hint hint!)

I’ve decided once and for all I’m not interested in a side hustle. I am more and more drawn to slow living, so I’ll do what I enjoy and sell what becomes available as a result of that. I have decided to call it a side saunter. It sounds so much more relaxing.

Lately I’ve been enjoying the versatility of digital art. The great thing is that once you’ve paid for the initial tools (in my case an iPad pro, an apple pencil and £10 for a digital painting/drawing app) then you don’t have to spend another penny. You also don’t have to worry about where to store a huge stash of paint or have to clean anything up after. Cleaning brushes is honestly the worst.

Last week I was chipping away at a frog illustration (yes, frogs have now entirely taken over my life) and falling in love with it more and more with every second that went by. Because it came together so well, I thought I’d put it to use to make a long-time dream of mine come true.

Years and years ago now I bought my first product from an artist on Redbubble – this mug, in fact (which was broken long ago, me being as clumsy as I am).

I love that design, but I also thought it would be sooooooo cool if I could do that, too. If I remember rightly I bought this mug around the time Pea came to live with me, which was in 2016. Six years later and I have made that dream a reality. I now have my own Redbubble shop!

It was one of my goals for this year to start selling my own creations, one way or another. Or rather, the thing that is important to me is making them available to sell. The actual sales are secondary – it’s the putting myself out there that was the first and biggest hurdle for me. I suppose I still had my doubts, at least until I saw that I can have an actual CLOCK made with my own design on it. Which is just so super cool.

For a moment I was considering keeping my shop private for the time being and seeing how I feel later, but then I realised that actually, my design is indeed good enough to see the light of day.

I haven’t ordered myself a clock yet, I’ll wait till payday, but I did order a couple of cheap bits and bobs just to check the print quality. So far only the postcards have arrived from my order (items are printed on demand and dispatched once they are ready) but they are looking good!

I am most excited for my tote bag to arrive, so naturally it’s the last thing to be dispatched. Still, in the meantime I’m working on more designs and the ideas are flowing again. Thank goodness for that.

I also have a couple of fine art prints of the design, but I need to work out how much to charge for them so that I don’t lose money. Once I have that figured out, they will be up for sale. This part is harder than I imagined, because charging what they are actually worth (or at least what they cost me) makes me feel incredibly guilty for some reason. That’s obviously something I need to work on, because there’s not much point to a side saunter if I end up losing a load of money. On the flipside, if I make just £1 I’ll be happy. Of course I’d rather be a millionaire, but I’m good with starting small!

Hayley x

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