Would you believe it, I’ve only gone and caught another bug, which is putting me even further behind in my secret things. Yesterday I felt rough as anything and got very little done, but today I’m feeling slightly better. Instead of getting on with my knits though, I’m here, writing a blog. It’s because it helps me to get my brain in order, so I should be more focused for the rest of the day.

Yesterday I did a tiny bit of crochet, which I am VERY excited about, but the only other thing of note I did was watch Spirited on Apple TV. I LOVED IT, by the way. It’s funny and sweet and one that I will probably watch every year from now on.

It’s literally freezing outside, so I’ve been popping out occasionally for some frosty photo shoots. I think it’s important to capture these moments because I can handle crappy weather if it looks pretty. There will be plenty of grey and oppressive days in the coming months, so I want to really make the most of more photogenic days.

I woke up this morning to a blanket of snow, so you can bet I’ll be out there again if or when it actually gets light. Our garden isn’t very photogenic in the snow, but I really can’t help myself. It’s funny, but I kind of forgot this year, as I’ve been trying other crafts, that photography is an art form in itself. Whenever I’ve thought I wasn’t being creative, I always was, because there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t take a photo. Not a single one.

Last week Pea came out to model for her Christmas photo shoot, and she did not disappoint.

Because I’ve been generally feeling ill more often than not lately, I haven’t felt particularly Christmassy. I have one more week at work (assuming I feel well enough) until I have an entire week off, so I’m not forcing the Christmas feeling upon myself. I’m sure during my week off it will arrive as a matter of course.

Some work people want to go out on the Friday before Christmas, and I was considering popping out to be sociable until they said they don’t want to go out until 8pm. I mean, that’s practically bedtime! So I absolutely will not be participating.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my health lately, and although I probably would have caught these bugs regardless, I really have been neglecting my overall well-being and want to do something about it. Once Christmas Day is done, I’m going to be making some big changes.

I’ve already requested to be permanently moved to a different department at work, which will mean a lot more physical activity on a daily basis. I’ve been told that my transfer should go ahead in mid-January, and I’m actually really looking forward to it. Once this happens, I absolutely HAVE to take better care of myself, because doing this job during summertime is no mean feat. I will have to lose some weight because, with the amount of insulation I’m carrying around right now, it would be hell on toast. I could do it, but I’d really rather not.

Every attempt at weight loss since 2019 has been tinged with anxiety for me because it brings back memories of a particular ex. I was at my slimmest ever when we were doing… whatever it was we were doing (even now I’m not sure) and it’s only recently I’ve stopped hearing his voice in my head. ‘Daaahhhling, don’t eat white bread, it’s poison’ was one of his favourite things to say, and there was a particularly memorable run we went on, which he said I ruined because I ate a single blackberry. Luckily I can laugh about it now, but every time between then and now when I’d try to make changes, I’d be regretting that time with him and wonder what life would be like now if we’d never met.

That’s not helpful though, because it happened, and there’s nothing I can do about it. The difference now is that I am truly ready to start a new chapter in life and leave all of that behind. I’m just excited to be making new memories and reaching new milestones without dwelling on that time. It’s done.

Onwards and upwards!

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x